


Take that light

by Amehi



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Dress Up, F/F, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Goodbyes, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Spoilers, Spoilers of the end of the series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:08:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amehi/pseuds/Amehi
Summary: There was a last conversation that Eleanor had to have before she could really go through that door.
Relationships: Tahani Al-Jamil/Eleanor Shellstrop
Comments: 8
Kudos: 75





	Take that light

“I have a last wish,” Eleanor told her through the phone, “one that only you can grant.”

“Well, that’s much surprising,” Tahani replied, frowning in confusion. “What could you wish for that Janet here can’t grant?”

The truth is that Tahani felt a tinge of apprehension inside her as Eleanor spoke her mind. It had been so many Jeremy Bearimys since they reached the Good Place and that door had been created, it was about time for the blonde to feel complete and wish to leave. Tahani had gone through such epiphany herself long ago, so she could understand the situation quite well.

It was not like everyone was supposed to stay — or to leave. It’s just that… so many of her friends were gone now, and they would never see each other again. As Tahani continued to exist as an architect, it would only be Janet and her, forever.

That thought itself made Tahani feel so alone.

“I’ll say it only once in this life of mine,” Eleanor started, the typical seriousness brimming in her voice, “Tahani Al-Jamil, you’re stylish as no one I’ve ever seen before, and I’d like you to dress me up.”

........

Tahani didn’t know what to think.

It was to be expected, actually. When she felt like it was time for her to go, she had felt in peace too, so this apprehension wasn’t something she could comprehend entirely, after all, everything was okay. After so long, everything was okay. Or so it should be.

She spent the whole week unsure of what was transpiring, until Sunday came, and, with it, their promised get-together at her house. It was set after lunch, but she wondered if she should put up something for Eleanor — it was supposed to be their last time together, after all. Who knows when she was going through the door? A day could come when Tahani would ask Janet about her just to be told the blonde was long gone.

She shouldn’t be so negative. That was not like her.

Eleanor got there a little bit earlier, which was unusual, but again, it was her last wish, perhaps she was doing nothing else before. As she said hi, flashing Tahani with her signature smile, the brunette felt restless.

“I must say, it was quite unexpected,” she pointed out, guiding Eleanor to her room to check on the big closet connected to it. “I feel like the last time you said anything about the way I dress, we were still going through Michael’s experiments.”

“And we probably were,” Eleanor agreed, and the way she stretched the syllables gave Tahani the impression that she had something in her mind. It was the same way she always spoke when she was a step ahead, when she knew more, but couldn’t say yet.

“You know, once my friend Taylor Swift asked me to help her pick a dress for a party, and we had lots of fun during a whole afternoon, trying to pick the color that looked better on her,” Tahani told her, trying to get the conversation to move on. Those doubts could kill her again, so it was better to forget. “In the end, she picked a red one, although I still think the green one would look best on her! You know, all of us have a color that look better on us, that matches us perfectly.”

“You can’t possibly be talking about the birthday color, can you?” Eleanor asked, snorting soon after as they reached Tahani’s room. “I can still remember Michael mumbling about it nonstop when he heard of it.”

“I recollect that,” Tahani agreed, a laugh in her lips as she made the way to the closet. “He wanted to discover his birthday to match his tie color! It feels like so many Bearimys ago! But no, I’m not talking about that, rather, I refer to the color that makes us glow.”

“Makes us glow?” Eleanor repeated, pouting in recognition. “And what do you think my color is?”

“That,” Tahani started, smiling and raising her eyebrows, “we’ll discover after you try some clothes.”

Janet had to readjust at least thirty different dresses before Eleanor and Tahani picked one. As the brunette pulled the zipper of the flower-patterned nude dress, she knew immediately that this was Eleanor’s color, a soft hue that made her skin stand out, smooth and silky as Tahani’s fingers traced her shoulder blades after pulling the zipper.

She looked over Eleanor’s shoulder, although it was not entirely necessary to do so to see her on the body mirror of her room. Her petite form was adorned by the dress, highlighting all the beauty that she had been bragging about for thousands of Bearimys.

“So, how do you feel?” she asked, smiling and raising her eyebrows. Eleanor, who was watching herself in the mirror with great intensity, put a finger on her chin, smiling slyly.

“I feel powerful. Look at these curves, baby,” she answered, raising her arms and wiggling her hips just slightly, laughing soon after. “Is that how you feel all the time?”

“I guess yes?” Tahani answered, blinking in surprise and taking a step back so that Eleanor had space to turn around in front of the mirror. “It’s always empowering to feel good about ourselves, but I thought you’d know as much. You’re one of the bravest women I’ve ever known.”

“Nah, I just don’t let my mind wander to what-ifs,” Eleanor told her, turning the head to look at the brunette from over her shoulder. Her genuine smile was the same for so long, yet it made Tahani feel the chest squeezing slightly.

Eleanor was like that, you know, so charming and fun. It was like she had her own light, shining bright whenever someone looked her in the eyes, a mischievous and smart glint. She could go around everyt situation with charisma and geniality, holding everyone in her light finger in a way in which, when you least expected, you were already enjoying. Tahani had admired her for a long time, and she could confess that the blonde was one of her inspirations in her new challenge of being an architect.

And soon she would be…

“Guess what is missing? Shoes and a great make-up,” she prompted, watching as Shellstrop widened her eyes in expectancy.

Both sat in front of Tahani’s grand mirror, and Al-Jamil asked Janet for skin products that matched Eleanor’s skin color.

“It’s like a dream here, uh?” Eleanor said, the eyes closed as Tahani worked on her eyeshadow, a hue of pink and light brown, very, very light, just to make her blue eyes stand out. “This fancy make-up surely is something I’d never be able to afford when I was alive.”

“That’s the magic of the Good Place.” Tahani let the brush outline her eyebrows with delicacy, watching the color mixing perfectly with her skin. “Here you can have anything you’ve never had before.”

“Anything, yeah…” Shellstrop’s voice was low then, almost pensive. Tahani put her hands down, telling her she was finished.

As Eleanor opened her eyes, the lips slight-opened, her intense, baby blue irises fell on Tahani’s. She felt goosebumps suddenly, sitting straight and feeling restless. Before she could stop herself, she murmured: “You’re beautiful.”

Eleanor looked at her for a second, then she smiled again, leaning closer and pulling a lock of brown hair behind Tahani’s ear. “And you are the most beautiful of all.”

Taken aback, Tahani felt her lips trembling as Eleanor’s fingers brushed her ear. What was happening, she asked herself. But to Eleanor she said, instead: “Why did you come here? Why did you ask me to dress you up?”

Eleanor gave her another of her sweet smiles, retreating back to her seat. “I just realized that it was time for me to go.”

“And you wanted to say goodbye?”

“Kind of? I realized,” the blonde began, looking around to the mirror, “that there was something I had to do before I could go.”

“Something you haven’t done yet? Was it just dressing-up?” Tahani demanded. “You can do anything here, if there is something you wish for, you can just tell me, and I’ll help you.”

_And then you’ll go._

_As everyone else, forever._

“You’re not entirely right,” Eleanor whispered, looking back at her. Her pink-tinted lips went upwards again, this time in a sad smile. “It’s not possible for us to have everything here, Tahani. But I’ll be satisfied with less than everything, I just feel like I should not go keeping this from you.”

“What do you mean?” Al-Jamil asked, blinking in confusion. She wished to take a step back, to show her how outraged she was feeling now. Her heart was beating fast, and her eyes could not leave Eleanor’s face. “If there is something you couldn’t accomplish, well, we can work on that. There’s always—”

“I’m in love with you.”

This made the brunette stop, widening her eyes as Eleanor twitched her lips, seeming to have already thought of saying that a thousand times.

“See? It’s something we can do nothing about.”

“W-What, you…”

“I realized a long time ago,” Eleanor continued, the eyes sparkling, gentle and soft, as was her posture. “But I never found the right way to tell you. I just felt like, ah, it’s okay if Tahani doesn’t know, I can keep it myself.”

“What, what about Chidi?” Tahani stuttered back, trying really hard to comprehend.

“Of course I love Chidi too. It’s just that I love two people.” Eleanor shrugged. “A cosmic joke, right? But Chidi knew of this all along. Before he went through the door, he told me I should tell you. And guess what?” She rolled her eyes. “As always, he was right.”

“I don’t understand, Eleanor…” Tahani looked around, restless. Something inside her was boiling, telling her some mixed signals she couldn’t understand.

“Hey, hey, listen,” Shellstrop called her, placing a hand over hers, which still held the make-up brush. Her eyes were light and filled with comprehension and warmth as Tahani looked to her. “It’s okay, Tahani. You don’t have to worry about it, okay? I just wanted you to know.”

“I…” Tahani looked down at her hands touching. “Okay… Okay, I guess.”

It wasn’t okay, it was just…

Eleanor nodded, petting her hand. “You’ve always been an incredible woman, strong, beautiful, hard-working. And, well, you know I’ve always had a crush on you,” she explained, laughing. Tahani raised her eyebrows, unable to muster any answer as she continued softly: “I feel like I always embarrass myself in front of you. Thanks heaven I have this dress today, it does really make me feel powerful!”

Typical Shellstrop move to crack a joke about the situation. Tahani smiled just slightly.

“It’s not true, you don’t embarrass yourself in front of me. I always thought you were incredible. If that was what you call embarrassment, then I cannot imagine what you would be like when you’re in your best.”

“Maybe a goddess,” Eleanor prompted, smiling mischievously.

“A goddess, yes,” Tahani agreed, laughing and shaking her head. Her heart was calm again, still thumping, but not soaring anymore. Eleanor always made her feel better, it was like she had all the answers of the world in small paper pieces folded and stored in her head. She was always surprising Tahani and the universe.

And there she was, showing her last rick and saying she loved Tahani.

“So the last thing you wished for was to confess?” she asked in a whisper. She didn’t know if she really wanted that answer, but Eleanor gave it anyways, squeezing her hand:

“Yes. Thank you for listening.”

Her hand brushed Tahani’s with delicacy as she pulled away, taking the warmth with her.

The brunette looked down at her fingers, the copper skin and the blue-tinted nails. Eleanor got up and looked herself in the mirror a last time, spinning around. “I guess I’m ready then. Janet?”

Janet appeared in thin air, as usual. “Yes, Eleanor?”

“Could you guide me to the door?” Eleanor asked her.

Tahani gasped, getting up as well. “You’re going _now_?”

“Yeah, of course,” Eleanor agreed, shrugging. “That was the whole point of dressing-up. Now I’ll go out in all my glory, thanks to your amazing style.”

“B-But…” Tahani started, looking down again. She closed her eyes. “No, you’re right. We all have our time to go when we feel ready. Do you feel like you did everything you had to, Eleanor?”

“Yes,” She sighed. “I’ve done everything I had to.”

The way she sounded happy, complete, satisfied made Tahani feel a smile drawing the tips of her lips upwards as she felt her eyes stinging. “Then that is everything that matters.”

As they made their way to the entrance again, the brunette felt something strange inside, some kind of urgency that she couldn’t classify. Each step and the sound of their high-heels touching the floor announced, without words, that the fun time was over, and they beauty that had been there all the time would be gone, never to come back.

Tahani would continue to be an architect forever.

And forever she would have to withhold this feeling.

“Eleanor,” she asked, stopping some feet from the door. “Can I talk to you for a second before you go?”

“Well,” Eleanor eyed Janet, seeming surprised, “of course you can.”

“I’ll just wait outside,” Janet said, nodding to the two and rummaging out, to Tahani’s big front garden.

Al-Jamil walked to the door, watching the way the sunlight reflected on Eleanor’s bright eyes. The Shellstrop twitched her lips, seeming nervous. “Well, I hope what I said didn’t disturb you. I don’t want you to feel bad for the rest of existence.”

“Yeah. I don’t want to feel bad for the rest of existence either,” Tahani murmured, the eyes following Eleanor’s neck, going down to her dress, which waived around her in soft spirals. She really looked like a goddess today, she concluded, feeling the heart squeezing inside her yet again, the hands trembling, the legs weak.

Tahani didn’t want to have any regrets, that’s why she leaned down and kissed Eleanor.

The blonde gasped for a moment, seeming taken aback, but soon her hands found Tahani’s hair, holding the locks as she kissed back. And Tahani, who had no idea how they got to this, felt the urgency going to her fingers, spreading on her skin as she let the hands feel Eleanor’s shoulders, memorizing her soft and cool skin, the scent of the perfume they had put on earlier, the sound of the water fountain in the garden — peace.

When they separated, she opened her eyes slowly, as if coming out from a dream, breathless and feeling light. Eleanor’s mischievous smile was back and she laughed, the warm breath hitting Tahani’s skin. “Is the Good Place granting love too now and no one told me?”

Tahani laughed back, noticing that what was boiling inside her was warm and comfortable, a feeling that she had again after a long time. It was almost like she could fly, and that wouldn’t be unexpected considering where they were.

This whole feeling when nothing was missing.

“You fool.”

As they disentangled, Eleanor took a step back, the dress waiving around her. Tahani looked her in the eyes, taking in the blonde’s flushed cheeks and the happiness that spiraled inside herself.

“Thank you, Eleanor. For everything.”

“I should be the one thanking you, Tahani,” she said back, never averting her gaze. “For everything.”

“Have a safe trip,” Al-Jamil wished, stepping aside to leave the entrance door free for Eleanor to leave. Outside, Janet was admiring her rose garden in the distance.

“And you have a safe and joyful existence,” Eleanor bid her goodbye, turning around and leaving after Janet. Her frame fit perfectly with the rose garden; blue, cloudless sky, the greenery of life and a woman who was shining.

........

Sometime later, Tahani hanged on the wall a paint of the back of a blonde woman going away, following a trail in a rose garden that matched the flower in bloom in her dress. Whenever someone came to visit, they would ask what it meant, and Al-Jamil would say she felt like the blonde was leading the way, a sparkling, delicate light that always showed the right path to take.

Then Tahani would smile, think of her face and go on.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there :))  
> I just felt like I had to write something about the end of the series. Although it was always very light and fun, the end was so emotional, and it left me with mixed feelings, so I tried to translate it to words in this story. Also because Tahani x Eleanor deserved their screen time, in my opinion UHAUSHA. And I always felt like somehow Eleanor was a guiding light to them whenever they were together, but I'd like to think that Tahani knows the way now and will have her happily ever after :D  
> Well, I guess that's it. I hope you've enjoyed!


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